The Role of a Wedding Celebrant
You’ve chosen your venue, and you’re pretty sure about the date for your wedding. Now you need to consider who will actually conduct your ceremony for you. That’s an option which has traditionally been limited to two choices: a full-blown religious ceremony, or an entirely non-religious one conducted by a Local Authority Registrar (either in the registry office, or in a designated room within your venue).
But now there’s a third choice open to you, and most brides are completely unaware of it. You can have your ceremony conducted by a civil Celebrant, someone who has trained specifically to be able to conduct bespoke ceremonies. In this way, your ceremony will be absolutely unique to the two of you and you can rest assured that no-one will ever have the same ceremony as yours.
Below are the answers to the ten most common questions about Celebrants.
I’ve never heard of a Celebrant how is it different from what a Registrar does?
A Registrar has a limited choice in where they can marry you, and the words they can use for your ceremony. For instance, you may have grown up with a Christian or other religious belief, and would like a short prayer, or religious reading incorporated within your ceremony: with a Registrar, that’s not possible. Neither can poems nor songs such as Angels which have any religious connotation whatsoever.
With a Celebrant, your ceremony will incorporate whatever you want it to. If you and your partner are from different cultures, or have different religious beliefs, then elements of both your cultures and beliefs can be included in the ceremony itself. A Celebrant can also conduct your ceremony anywhere: whether your dream is to have a woodland wedding, a Medieval themed wedding, a sunset beach ceremony, or to set up a beautiful gazebo or marquee in your favourite gardens, your Celebrant will work with you to make it happen. After all, it’s your day!
Will we meet a Celebrant before our wedding?
Absolutely. If you book a Registrar, you won’t know who is turning up until the wedding day itself. With a Celebrant, you’ll have an initial meeting during which your Celebrant will have an opportunity to really get to know you as a couple – how you met, who you are, and what you want in life together. You never know, you may find out more about each other in this meeting, too. You’ll discuss in depth the style of ceremony you would like. Following that meeting, your Celebrant will work on creating your bespoke ceremony. Your script will usually be edited as many times as you like until it’s perfect for you. Nearer your big day, there will be a wedding rehearsal if you like (not all couples do!) on a mutually agreed date and time. And then, on the big day itself, your Celebrant will perform your wedding ceremony and you’ll be given a presentation folder with a copy of your ceremony to keep.
Will our marriage be legal if it is performed by a Celebrant?
A Celebrant does not have the power to marry you in law and the legal aspect of marriage needs to be carried out by a Registrar. It is your choice as to whether you do this before or after your main ceremony performed by the Celebrant. There are practicalities to be considered and if you plan to jet off on an exotic honeymoon very soon after your ceremony then you might want to pop along to the registry office beforehand. Most couples consider their personal exchange of vows to be their ‘real wedding’ and are happy to take care of the legalities separately.
If weÿstill have to go to a registry office anyway, is there any point in using a Celebrant?
Absolutely. There are advantages to weddings carried out by Celebrants not having legal status. The flexibility to get married anywhere and at any time is the biggest one. If you’ve chosen your favourite venue and want a 3pm wedding but the Registrar is busy elsewhere, then you’re stuck around someone else’s schedule. It’s your day and you should be able to choose the time you get married. If you choose a Celebrant to conduct the ceremony, you can complete the legalities at a different time, and have your 3pm ceremony.
What is the difference between a Civil Celebrant and a Humanist Celebrant?
A Civil Celebrant is secular. That means they can conduct a ceremony for you which is entirely non-religious, or they can include religious content if you wish. Whichever you opt for, at no point will you ever be aware of the personal beliefs of your Celebrant, because they aren’t relevant. A Humanist celebrant is different: Humanism has atheism (a complete lack of belief in any god) at its root and so will be unable to incorporate any religious readings or prayers in your ceremony. In fact, the restrictions on readings at a Humanist wedding are the same as those for Registrar-conducted ceremonies.
Can we write our own vows for our wedding?
Yes, of course you can. Writing your own vows is one of the most emotional and special things you will ever do as a couple, and they will be the highlight of your wedding. A Celebrant is there to give you lots of ideas, help out if you get stuck, and will gently guide you through the whole process. If you really can’t do them yourself, your Celebrant will write them for you.
What does a typical ceremony include?
There is no typical ceremony because each one is bespoke, but a rough idea might include:
- readings and poems
- a song or two (with or without your guests singing)
- information about how the two of you met and how you are planning your life together
- your personalised vows, of course
- the exchange of rings
- a Handfasting blessing
- a beautiful additional symbolic ritual such as a Unity Sand ceremony
We have children and would like them to be included in our ceremony. Is that possible?
It’s a lovely idea. A Unity Sand ceremony is a really powerful way to include your children and you can incorporate additional vows about being a family as you mix your coloured sands together.
We’re thinking about having a ceremony abroad on the beach but there’s so much legal paperwork involved. Can we simply take a Celebrant with us?
Yes. The fees and expenses involved would obviously be additional to a normal Celebrant’s fee but many Celebrants will be more than happy to travel anywhere with you to make your big day truly special.
Having a bespoke ceremony sounds fabulous but it also sounds like it’s going to be expensive.
The cost of a Celebrant is usually the same as getting a Registrar to come to a venue. In some cases, Celebrants can be less expensive (if, for instance, you want a Registrar on a Public Holiday). Some Celebrants will advertise their prices as being from .. but hidden costs can soon add up. It’s really important that you’re able to budget and know exactly what you’re spending in advance as wedding costs can soar out of control. If you look for a Celebrant with a fixed cost, then you know exactly how much you’re going to spend. After all, you want to have enough left to enjoy that luxury honeymoon
Glynis Woodhead is a Civil Celebrant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/highlandceremoniesltd
See our Listed Celebrants here
