Symbolise Love in Your Wedding Ceremony – some unique ways
Getting married is a big life step. For many people the wedding ceremony is an opportunity to gather friends and family together to help celebrate.
Getting that many people together can mean careful consideration of everyone’s needs sometimes whether you want to factor those in or not! With all of the logistical planning, details, and other people’s feelings which suddenly pop up, it’s not surprising that planning a wedding can become a stressful process.
There are bookings to be made, items to be sourced and procured, timings to be planned. Even the most carefully planned wedding days can become a busy whirlwind.
Bride and groom watering a money tree plant. Round wooden table. Rustic wedding creative ideas.
Introducing unity ceremonies
Incorporating a unity ceremony into your wedding day can be a valuable way of pausing everything for a moment. They often take the form of highly symbolic representations of togetherness, depicting the bonding of two people and two families.
Whilst most types of unity ceremony are not legally binding, they can still form the basis of the main wedding ceremony. You and your partner might decide to take care of the legal part of the marriage, before holding a unity ceremony separately for your guests. Alternatively, you might consider including them into a legally binding ceremony.
Unity ceremony rules
Because a unity ceremony is all about portraying your togetherness, there are no definitive rules about having them. Some types of unity ceremony might give rise to some practical or logistical considerations, though, so always be careful to research them in detail!
Types of unity ceremony for a wedding
There truly is an astonishingly diverse array of unity ceremonies, giving you and your partner plenty of scope to design a wedding celebration which is entirely unique to you.
Typically they involve combining two or multiple elements in order to create a new or altered entity. Take a look through some of types of ceremony below for some inspiration.
Unity candle ceremony
A unity candle symbolises the bringing together of two people into a powerful partnership. It often takes the form of a single large candle which is lit by you and your partner from two smaller separate ones.
It’s meant to represent that just as the flames can then not be divided, neither can your enduring love. It’s popular for this to take place after the proclamation of marriage, but really the unity candle can be lit at any point during your wedding ceremony, or afterwards.
You and your partner might wish to say a few words as you light the candle, either prepared in advance or as emotion dictates.
Alternatively, your celebrant could write a bespoke reading for you for this purpose, or give another reading of your choice. Some couples even ask guests to light their own smaller candles from the flame.
The candle ceremony is fairly straightforward as far as accessories are concerned, requiring two smaller candles and a larger one. A robust candle holder is usually a good idea too, especially if your wedding guests are coming forward to light their own.
There are no rules as to what colour or type of candle you use, so you can match your colour scheme, or go all out flamboyant. Bespoke candles which are marked with your names and the date of the ceremony are a beautifully personal touch.
After the ceremony you and your partner can keep the candle, and relight it on each anniversary or other family event so make it a big one!
Including a sand ceremony in your wedding
The sand ceremony is performed by each partner pouring their ‘own’ scoop of sand into a shared container. This blending together is a highly symbolic way of demonstrating the permanence of the couple’s unity. Whilst each grain of sand remains unique and unchanged, neither can they be separated once mixed.
Sand ceremonies are often associated with beach weddings, what with the availability of materials. If you and your partner are planning a beach wedding, using sand from the site of your wedding ceremony could be a romantic memento. In truth though, a sand ceremony can be held absolutely anywhere.
You will need two small containers or scoops to hold each person’s sand, and a larger container in which to combine them. If you or your partner have children, whether together or separately, you might also discuss having them symbolically add their own sand into the mix.
There’s an astonishing array of ornamental sands available these days, in a huge variety of colours. Each person could choose their colour, or you might opt to use different shades of the same colour. It can make a wonderful display piece after the ceremony.
Wedding handfasting ceremony
Handfasting is believed to have been around for thousands of years, most likely with Celtic origins. If you’ve ever heard someone say ‘tying the knot’ in relation to getting married, then it probably stems from this.
A handfasting ceremony involves couples hands being placed together and then bound with ribbon or cord. It symbolises the special binding together of the couple. Some couples choose to make a vow each time the ribbon is looped, or a celebrant might give a unique reading during the act itself.
The ribbon itself can be very simple, or made up of multiple strands which are woven together. This might be two strands for the couple, or perhaps include other ribbons for any children or other family members.
A water ceremony for your wedding
Much like the sand ceremony, a water ceremony sees two measurements of liquid blended into one. For this you’ll need two smaller containers of liquid, and a larger one to mix everything in to.
You could use clear water, or add in a colourant. If you and your partner wish to blend separate colours, then it’s well worth having a practice run to make sure you like the finished result.
Different inks or colourings might not have the same density, so do make sure that they blend together fully. Some colours can separate or layer, which might not be the effect you were after!
The blended water can be kept in a sealed container for display purposes. You could even plant a tree together, and symbolically pour a small amount of the water onto its roots each anniversary.
Of course, it doesn’t have to be water you and your partner could choose some favourite ingredients to turn into your signature cocktail! It’s a ceremony to symbolise who you are as a couple, so be as romantic, sweet, or fun as you wish.
Rose ceremony
Though roses are often chosen for their connotations of romantic love, any flower could be used for this particular type of unity ceremony.
Either exchange flowers with your partner, or ask each guest to place flowers in a vase during the ceremony, or just after the marriage declaration. It can be a beautiful way to have your guests participate in your wedding in a really meaningful way.
If you wanted to keep your arrangement for the future, then perhaps explore using hyper-realistic artificial flowers. They will last for longer than freshly cut flowers, whilst still making a stunning centrepiece for years to come.
Tree planting ceremony
Planting a tree (or trees) during your wedding is a stunning way to symbolise your onward growth together as a couple.
Depending on where you and your partner are getting married, there may be logistical considerations which need taking into account.
If you’re planning on planting your tree or trees straight into the ground, it’s important to make sure that you have permission from the landowner first. Even in public woodland or parkland there are often rules about planting, so it’s best to check well in advance.
Alternatively, to get round this, use large planters for your wedding tree planting ceremony. This makes it possible for you to move them to a more permanent location afterwards, or to keep them more easily mobile!
There are no rules as to what sort of tree or shrub you use, leaving it entirely up to personal preference. Some trees have associated meanings assigned to them, which might be something you would like to explore. Particularly supple varieties could be planted as a pair, and woven together as they grow.
During the ceremony, you and your partner can take it in turns to water the tree, or water it together. If you wished to include your guests, invite them to scatter soil or to add water, too.
Other unity ceremonies to explore for your wedding
A blanket unity ceremony symbolises the comfort you will bring each other. Letters which are prepared in advance can be symbolically sealed during your marriage ceremony, to be reopened on special anniversaries. There are a huge variety of unity ceremonies which can be incorporated into your wedding day. The diversity of these make it possible to create unique, personal acts which are highly symbolic.
You and your partners can embrace these in whichever way you wish, or choose favourite elements from each and blend them together to make new ones.
Finding ways to depict your love for each other in this way is often a unique talking point amongst guests, whilst giving you and your partner a moment of focus on the true meaning of your day.
If you wanted, you could even prolong that feeling by performing rituals throughout the day, privately or with your guests. Planning these in advance can ensure that you and your partner get some much needed time together during a busy yet joyous day.
Jeanette is an experienced Civil Celebrant who has been fortunate to play a role in many unique weddings. Visit her website for more information about the work that she does.
Download your FREE wedding planning pack here
