On a cold winter’s morning, it is perhaps challenging to conjure up thoughts of the perfect wedding day. However, before we know it will be long lazy summer days, filled with nervous anticipation. One of the things I love about Liz and the team at The Wedding Guide, is the effort they place into providing both the guide and their website.

Having once been a best man, I know what a stressful experience this can be, starting with organising the stag party, helping with practical aspects on the day and then the dreaded speech! I once spent many a night struggling with the words and fretting about whether my jokes would be regarded as funny or would the bride’s mother disapprove. Should I ever be required to be a best man again, I would be better equipped than ever as I’m far more relaxed these days, probably because of what I do for a living and perhaps my age.

Often people will focus on the wedding speech and the stag, however a good best man, provides far more and in many ways, they are the floor manager on the big day, as they ensure everything goes to plan, as such a good best man will need to do his homework long before the big day.

The key to a great speech is about being prepared, fail to prepare and risk looking like a complete idiot on the day. You might be a great speaker, however there is still the need to do your research properly, or risk looking like a total wally in front of hundreds of people.

It may seem like I’m stating the obvious, but it makes sense to leave material more suitable for a working man’s club at home, whilst it may be amusing and highly true that the groom has a penchant for a certain type of lingerie, does great aunt Flora need to know this.

Instead look to compliment and include the bride, perhaps even include a short story involving her.

Unless you are a professional speaker, keep things simple, deliver a short funny speech with a suitable length being around 10 minutes. It is best generally to confer with the groom and the father of the bride, as should they lack confidence in public speaking and be planning a short speech, so you should ensure yours is similar in length.

If there is one tip I really want to share, it would be take your time, should you ignore all the advice contained here, please take away this piece of advice. Make a point of slowing down, let your audience enjoy your anecdotes. Breath as a form of punctuation, rather than using erm or similar. I once saw I guy give a speech which lasted around 10 minutes, where he said erm over 100 times, I know because we started to count after the first twenty or so.

This then had an impact on other speeches, as they did exactly the same.

Steer clear of clichés, an example would be, well it’s been an emotional day, even the cake’s in tiers.

Above all, be proud of what is pretty much the highest honour a friend can bestow upon you. Remember, being a best man is a massive compliment, there is little doubt that being a best man is demanding, it is however also a great privilege.

Public speaking is perhaps the most common ‘phobia’ in the UK, followed by…yes you guessed it the fear of spiders. Most of my hypnotherapy clients report a fear of public speaking which usually boils down to a fear of being the focus of attention or being judged.

More often than not, this is something that can be easily resolved through a couple of sessions of hypnotherapy. As with all fears, they are stored deep within our subconscious mind, a good hypnotherapist will provide you with a range of skills and tools that can easily be applied when required.

If you need help with nerves around speeches or want to feel relaxed on your special day, please feel free to get in touch call me The Hypnotherapy Guy on 07580 020785 or email darren@thehypnotherapyguy.co.uk


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